BEING A PEOPLE PERSON
Hospitality is more than about your product, things, and places. Hospitality is a feeling of an unparalleled experience created and an impeccable service given to a person. Hospitality involves being attentive and sensitive to the needs of others. The way we make people feel is what they will remember more than anything else. The qualities of a hospitable person are kindness, optimism, empathy, being cordial, receptive, generous, open minded and favourable towards people and others. We all have the potential to develop this quality that makes the difference between personality and personality plus. What quality draws others to me? We can summarize it in one word
CHARISMA
Using the word charisma as an acrostic, we can define the characteristics of charismatic people.
C- Concern
H- Help
A- Action
R- Results
I- Influence
S- Sensitivity
M- Motivation
A- Affirmation
Keep in mind that these traits are not simply inborn; they are attainable by anyone who cares about other people and wants to develop his or her relational skills. Let’s look each characteristic in CHARISMA in more depth.
CONCERN: The ability to show who you are. Charismatic people have the ability to show concern for people’s deepest needs and interests. When you are around them, you sense their interest and care and leave them feel that he/she is important. At any gathering you find two types of people. Those who arrive with an attitude of “Here I am.” And those who are an attitude with “There you are”. It does not take long to notice that people flock to the “There you are” people. Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are in making them feel good about you. If you need to develop greater concern for others in your life, increase your exposure to hurting people. We see Jesus’ sense of concern in Mathew 9:35-38.
Here is the sequence: Jesus went, saw, felt and cared. It is only when we go, expose ourselves to various situations that we will see enough to develop the concern necessary to move us into action. It’s difficult to become motivated to help people without first seeing and feeling their needs. The secret is to spend time with them. Only when you go and see, you will feel and do.
HELP: The ability to reach out. Charismatic/Hospitable people are helpers. They are out to see others’ profit. They have the gift of grace. In fact, the Greek word for gift is “Charisma” meaning “gift of grace”. God has freely bestowed upon us spiritual gifts because of His grace toward us. In Romans 12:6 we read about it further, and also in Ephesians 4:11-12. Notice in both references the emphasis is on the variety of gifts and their purpose in the Kingdom. It is always for other people never for self. There is charisma in seclusion. You can’t walk into a room and have charisma by yourself. What can you do to help people with problems. First of all, encourage them to face their problems. Too often people would rather flee them fight them or forget them. Second, encourage them to solve their problems. Use the following acrostic to teach yourself to help other people with difficulties.
T-Tell them it takes time.
E-Expose yourself to their problems in order to relate to them.
A-Assure them your confidence in them
C-creatively show them how to deal with the problems
H-Hope. Offer hope to them through the process.
ACTION: The ability to make things happen. Something always exciting seem to be happening around a person with charisma. The charismatic person has an aversion to being boring. Be honest with yourself and evaluate how you come across to others. A young fellow in a dry church service turned to his mother and said, “pay the man and let’s go home.” The preacher obviously lacked charisma. When evangelist John Wesley was asked why people seemed to be drawn to him, he answered, “Well, you see when you set yourself on fire, people just love to come and see you burn.
“Do you want to increase your interest with other people?
“Develop your creativity and confidence. Creativity is the ability to say things in an unusual way, Confidence is the ability to do things in an unusual way. Charismatic people can do both. Develop these two traits and people will stand and take notice.
RESULTS: The ability to produce charismatic people want to win, they want others to win too. This creates productivity. Find your strength and find someone who needs your strength. Charismatic people use their strength to help other people feel good about themselves; They are other centred. The person who is self-centred uses his strength to dominate others.
INFLUENCE:The ability to Lead. Leadership is influence. What happens to you speaks of your circumstances. What happens in you speaks of your character. What happens through you speaks of your charisma.
Do you want to learn how to be a positive influence on others? Five factors come into play:
Who I am – My position or title
Where I am – My location or job
Who I know – My sphere of influence
What I know – My expertise
What I do – My production, character, credibility.
SENSITIVITY: The ability to feel and respond. Charismatic people have the ability to be sensitive to changing situations. Most people have the ability to feel something, but they are not sure how to react to it or express it. Charismatic people not only feel it, but they know how to react and express it.
Charismatic people find a cause; that’s discernment. They also voice a concern; that’s courage. And they draw a crowd; that’s automatic. If you are to become more sensitive, you must be willing to take a risk. Take the initiative to find a need and take action. People who are highly sensitive to the point that their feelings are always hurt will withdraw from others and never take the risk. Charismatic people will risk getting out their comfort zone in order to make others feel comfortable.
MOTIVATION: The ability to give hope. The secret of motivating others is providing them with hope. People tend to feel more positive when they are following charismatic leaders.
Let’s look at some Bible people who offered hope:
Isaiah, speaking of God, said, “I will do something new” (Is 43:19)
Jeremiah talked about “new law in their hearts” (Jer.31:33)
Jesus spoke about being born again (Jn 3:3)
Paul called a Christian a new “Creation” (2 Cor. 5:17)
John’s vision recorded in Revelation spoke of a new heaven and a new earth. (Rev. 21:1)
Each of these dynamic leaders constantly waved hope before their people.
Do you convey hope or despair to those around you?
Learn affirmation, skills, problem – solving techniques, ways to verbally encourage others, and convey belief and support in others.
AFFIRMATION: The ability to build up. Everyone wants and needs to be affirmed for his accomplishments. A little boy playing darts with his father said, “Let’s play darts”. I’ll throw and you say “wonderful”. That’s what the charismatic person does for others. We tend to become what the most important person in our life thinks we will become.
How do we affirm others?
First, we need to feel good about ourselves. Then we can verbally and actively believe in others and expect them to respond positively. People are our only appreciable asset. As Christians, we cannot afford not to affirm them. If I fail to affirm a brother, we both lose.
Sr. Angelica AJ
